Showing up: What it really takes to support a struggling student

August 27, 2026

As students head back to school after summer break, there is often a sense of a fresh start: new classes, new routines, and the chance to reconnect with friends. But returning to school also means returning to many of the pressures and challenges that shape students’ mental health throughout the year.

Academic stress, bullying, financial strain, and the feeling that adults may not fully understand what students are going through do not disappear over the summer. For many young people, these experiences are part of their everyday school lives, and they can have a real impact on whether students feel supported, connected, and able to thrive.

We spend a lot of time looking at what the data tells us about young people’s mental health. But the numbers are only part of the story. It is just as important to hear from young people themselves about what those findings look and feel like in their everyday lives.

For this special edition, we wanted to look beyond the numbers and better understand how these challenges show up as students return to school. We shared findings from Surgo Health’s Youth Mental Health Tracker with Izzy, a 16-year old high school student, and asked for her  perspective: Which findings reflect what students are really experiencing? What might adults be missing? And, as a new school year begins, what could parents, teachers, counselors, and other trusted adults do differently to better support young people?

Here’s what she had to say, in her own words.

School pressure builds earlier than adults may realize

School pressure rises as students move through education. 67% of middle school students report feeling school pressure, compared with 72% of high school students and 80% of college students. 

Izzy: “Most students could tell you what it feels like to walk into school some mornings already exhausted, not only from schoolwork, but from bracing ourselves for whatever the day might bring. Every year, we carry more pressure, and many adults have no idea how heavy it feels. Some adults might notice it and brush it off.  On face value, you might think that handling stress gets easier as we get older. But it doesn’t necessarily get easier. We just get better at hiding it."

What this means for adults

Izzy: “Don’t wait until junior year when college applications take over and grades feel more important to start talking about stress management. By then, most of us have already developed coping skills, and they might be good or they might be bad. There are opportunities throughout middle and high school to talk about how pressure changes as we get older. For example, middle school health classes or high school advisory periods could be used to teach stress management.”

Bullying changes as students get older, but it doesn’t disappear

Bullying rates are broadly similar across school stages. 25% of middle school students, 28% of high school students, and 21% of college students report being bullied.

Izzy: “Once you’re in high school, it’s less about physical bullying, like shoving someone in the hallway, and more about exclusion, rumors, and things that happen over text or social media, where a teacher may never see it. Rumors, group chats, and online harassment can be really damaging even when there is no obvious incident happening in a classroom or hallway."

What this means for adults

Izzy: “Anti-bullying assemblies aimed at middle schoolers aren’t enough on their own. Most students don’t pay much attention to them - to us, it can just feel like a way to skip class. High schools need to address social and digital bullying specifically, not just physical bullying. And then when bullying incidents happen, the things that have made the biggest difference aren’t always the big, school-organized initiatives. Sitting everyone down and talking through the  incident can actually help fix things. Pulling a bully out of school for a few days often just delays the next round but it doesn’t stop the problem. When you are just punishing students, that won’t change how two students feel about each other afterward. What matters is consistency: the same trusted adult, the same check-in, and the same expectation that problems will be talked through instead of pushed aside.”

Financial stress can quietly affect whether students feel they belong

Students experiencing financial difficulties are less likely to feel that adults at school care about them: 79% say adults at school care about them, compared with 89% of students who are not experiencing financial stress.

Izzy: “Financial stress might look like a student who is just a little quieter or more reserved. It’s not necessarily because they aren’t motivated or don’t want to be involved. They may not be able to afford some of the things other students can, like joining a club with a fee or buying something from the school store during lunch. Being stressed about money can add up to feeling like you don’t quite belong in the same way other students do. That can make students disconnect or isolate themselves.”

What this means for adults

Izzy: “Don’t assume a quiet or distant student just doesn’t care. Sometimes it’s about money, and they may never say that out loud. Cover a fee quietly instead of making an announcement about it. Keep supplies or snacks available for anyone to take with no forms and no asking. Ask students how they’re doing outside of school, not just how their grades are. Small things that adults do without making a big deal out of them can help more than one-time programs, because students don’t have to admit they’re struggling just to get support.”

As students head back to school, trust matters most

Across each of these findings, one theme stands out: students are more likely to seek help when they believe an adult will notice, listen, and respond without judgment.

As students return to classrooms this fall, this is what our youth interviewee hopes parents, teachers, counselors, and other trusted adults will keep in mind:

Izzy: “A student who trusts an adult is more likely to report bullying, ask for help with stress, or just show up on a hard day. Talk about the pressure students are under and give us room to process what we’re experiencing. You don’t always need to offer advice. Sometimes you just need to listen and let us know you’re there. Pay attention to the quieter kinds of bullying, too, especially ones happening online. And notice when a student becomes quieter or starts pulling away. The adults young people really trust are often the ones who simply show up, pay attention, notice the signs, and offer an ear when someone is struggling.”